Why I am not an Atheist

The Dark Witch by nebelelfenaemy.deviantart.com

There really is no true reason for a Pagan to believe in Deity. I mean, if one is persuaded by a staunch, fundamentalist monotheist, it is imperative that you believe, because if you do not, the future looks rather bleak for you; fire, brimstone, gnashing of teeth, burning with intense heat and breathing in smoke for all time.  I can see why the fear of being damned would make so many choose or even force themselves to believe in a religion or philosophy that they may find illogical or even downright unbelievable.

For a Pagan though, no such pressure exists. I have no fear of eternal damnation. I have no worries of being chained and tortured by the fallen ones. I do not  even have to live a ‘good life’. I can be nasty; I can be selfish, mean, stingy, greedy, and sexually immoral. I can be a liar, a fraud, a thief, a murderer and it matters not, for to be a Pagan means there is no hard and fast dictates of morality, behavior or conformity. In fact, the opposite is truer.  I have never seen such a bunch of free thinkers, individualists, self-expressionists and non-conformists as in Pagan or Heathen circles. I am honoured to be in their ranks.

So why would a Pagan with all these freedoms actually tie themselves down to the honour and worship of a Deity when they don’t have to?  Why go to all that trouble? Because, make no mistake, believing in a Goddess or God isn’t the lazy man’s way. I hold rituals to honour the Great Ones regularly. I make offerings, I create prayers and songs. I read of Them, I learn of Them, I meditate and dream of Them. They take up a lot of my time. Why do I do it?  The reason is because, I have no choice.  I cannot choose NOT to.  I am a natural born polytheist. I am a natural born religionist. I am a natural born believer in the realms of the Unseen.

I cannot choose to be an atheist. There is something either psychologically or physiologically within me that makes it impossible. I have tried in my earlier years to ‘not believe’. I have read many books on atheism and the resulting ‘scientific’ proof that reportedly shows that Divine intervention and guidance stems purely from my own overactive and emotional imagination. I have tried to put those beliefs and thought processes behind me.  But, I always fail because I know deep down in my heart and where my most private and intimate thoughts grow, that They are with me and that, as long as I take breath, They will always live in me.

Perhaps it is true that religion or belief in the Gods is unscientific, illogical or even irrational. That may be. I just know that for myself, I see Them, I hear Them. To deny what I know would be lying and would make me a fraud. I believe more strongly in that which is Unseen, in that which is illogical, in that which baffles and confuses and unhinges us much more strongly and deeply than in any statistic or scientific notation or hypothesis.  My body sings for the Unseen. My whole existence is one of thankfulness and the resultant overflow of gratitude and acknowledgement for the presence of the Gods and the Spirits in my life.

I can’t prove it. I can’t prove that the Gods exist. I can’t prove to a skeptic that I have heard Their voices or that I have seen Spirits of the Dead or that I walk between the Worlds, going back and forth like a commuter to work.  I have no proof. I don’t feel I have to. You are either called to this Path or you are not.  I believe one is born knowing. Teaching the Craft is impossible if the basic makeup of the person is one of doubt, and in only believing what one can see or touch with their physical eyes and hands. Just as I cannot be taught or persuaded to believe any differently, I believe the atheists  and agnostics among us cannot either. They cannot help how they are, any more than I can help how I am. It is set.

I may be insane. I may be the most irrational, confused and demented person on the Earth, but I know what I know.  I know what I believe and I know that at the end of it all, I have been true to my heart and to Them. And in this peace I go on, walking between the Worlds, proud to be Pagan, proud to be polytheistic and deeply religious, proud to be me.

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Playing at Paganism – I Want It and I Want It Now

It would appear, in our western modern age, that Paganism is experiencing a revival. It is now ‘hip’ to be heathen, and many who were once unfamiliar with Pagan teachings are jumping on the bandwagon, to make sure they ride this tide of popularity.

While I am glad of the resurgence of the Old Religion and elated that Paganism and Occult practice in general is becoming more ‘accepted’,  there is another worrying trend that seems to go hand-in-hand with all things that come easy; that characteristic mood of nonchalance; a lackadaisical, careless, laid-back Spirit that feeds apathy, laziness and a sense of entitlement.  It is the “I Want It and I Want It Now” syndrome; playing at Paganism like a game at recess and then crying when we lose.

The Way, costs. It is not meant to be easy, it is not meant to be taken lightly. People in the past have died for this very belief, for the Earth Mother, for the Old Ways, the Old Gods. The Pagan’s Path of the past was a dangerous, sometimes deadly road.  Our Elders paid dearly with their lives and livelihood, and our current level of popularity and acceptance rests on the skeletal foundation of these honoured Dead.

What I was taught as a girl and what I am learning now, costs me.  When I was younger, it cost me peer acceptance, friends and childhood ‘normalcy’.  I wasn’t out with chums going to parties or joy-riding. I was studying plant Spirits and trance techniques.  I was being taught to be silent, to meditate, to be happiest when alone with only the Spirits as confidantes.  I was isolated.  Even now, as an adult, I still spend most of my time alone. Many so called ‘friends’ don’t really understand that trait. I need that solitude to keep learning, to keep growing and to increase in wisdom and knowledge.  The Way still costs me.  It always will.

I have had people ask me to teach them, saying they are eager to learn what Witchcraft and Occultism are about. I have spent much time on these enthusiastic ‘players’, until I realized that they really didn’t have the discipline or heart-felt commitment to actively pursue this type of study. They were of that genre  who think that magic or Spirit communication is something you can pick up in a weekend. These same people never completed one single assignment, yet whined later that their Walk  just seems ‘weak’ or that the Spirits just won’t talk to them.

They pout like rowdy toddlers, upset that their desires have been thwarted. They treated the whole thing as a lark, as a hobby, as something to do between internet posts, text messages and the latest episode of “True Blood”.  Their light-hearted attitude saddens me and eventually, closes off my compassion towards them.

My Walk is my life. I am not a hobbyist. It is my passion. It is my life’s driving force. It is the thorn in my side and the balm to my soul.  I eat It, breathe It, bathe in It and dream It. I consume It and It consumes me.  I was asked recently by a friend how many hours a day I spend on this ‘Spirit’ stuff. I answered, “24″.  There is no ‘on and off’ switch.  For those who are serious, for those whose feet walk the road less travelled, the way is oftentimes challenging, most times lonely and eventually, compulsively obsessive.

I am not saying that Paganism or Occult practice isn’t fun and isn’t something to be enjoyed. In fact, for me, my practice is the one and only constant that brings me true joy. The whole experience isn’t all work. But what I am stating is due to the staggering popularity of this revival, there is an overwhelming lack of discipline, reverence and respect regarding  Witchcraft in particular and Occultism in general.

These are Ancient Powers. These are Celestial, Infernal and Earthly Authorities that surpass our deepest knowledge or awareness.  The way we approach Them must be with the most reverent and grateful of hearts. Anything less shows a lack of maturity on our parts, a childishness that reeks of arrogance and narcissism. Is it any wonder The Great Ones would ignore that?

I have come to believe that really, deep down, there are few called to this life. There are few with the mentality or the courage to offer their lives in exchange for wisdom and self-knowledge.  The self-sacrifice is a prerequisite.  “To whom much is given, much is required”. {1}  Let it be so, and let the players at Paganism become bored and wander off.  There are other games for them, other sparkly toys for their eternally short memory spans.  Let them stay always at play. Let them forever remain spoiled, reticent children. And, let them stay, far, far away from me.

 

References:

{1} Bible: Luke 12.48

“True Blood” – HBO Series produced by Alan Ball

Image: Sheknows.com

 

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Speaking Through the Veil – Ancestor Veneration

The idea and practice of ancestral honour for modern pagans is one that has not found a huge following. This is strange when you consider that every continent and almost every country on Earth, practices or has practiced ancestor worship or honouring of the familial dead for thousands of years; Africa, Egypt, Rome, China, Japan, Korea, Burma, Mexico, South America, India, the Philippines, Vietnam, Thailand, Europe and North America.

It is sad that we as modern pagans, especially those of us who claim to communicate with Spirits regularly, ignore or neglect this basic tenet of paganism.

In my tradition, the Veil of Death is a reality; a thin gauze of perception that separates the ‘Living’ from the Dead. It can be breached, and Those on the other side can come to us, and we can go to Them. It is the Way of the true Worker to operate on both sides of the Veil, traversing back and forth with caution, care and courage.

Veneration of the deceased is based on the belief that souls of the Dead have an existence past this world and can help influence (for good or ill), the daily fortunes and circumstances of the living. Some people make propitiation to their angry Dead, trying to placate and appease. Some honour out of filial duty and consider it a cultural obligation, nothing more.

In many Egyptian, Eastern and Native American cultures, homage is paid to ensure the soul’s well-being in the land of the Dead; to ease their journey across the Death River and to help make them comfortable in their new home. In that way, the living help the Dead in the transition and hopefully, the Dead will return the favour when once safely across the River.

There is a difference between ancestor veneration and ancestral worship. While I honour my Dead, I do not worship them. They are not Deity. The veneration is a remembrance, an offering of gratitude for what they did for me when they were alive and hopefully, for what aid and guidance they can offer me through their deaths. In cases where the relationship may have been strained or tenuous while one party was alive, showing respect and honour after death can bring healing and reconciliation.

I have found this true in my own case, with my mother especially. There were things I meant to ask her and things I wanted to tell her before she passed. I have now told her those things and received of her the same. Even in Death, our relationship is one of constant change and shades of emotion. Death does not heal all wounds.

Ancestral veneration is neither difficult nor complicated. I have an altar with pictures of my father, mother and grandma (the three most influential people in my life). I have a bit of tobacco for mom and dad who were both smokers, snuff for grandma, a few candles and some vodka (mom loved vodka). For my aunt, who I stayed with often, I have a handkerchief (she cried very easily) and one fresh flower.

I usually honour them when the Sister is full, sitting in quiet thought, conversing with them. I remember their influence on my life; what they gave, what they took away, and how I can still learn from them. It’s interesting because often, during these meditative states, my memories are jarred and I recall things that I thought I had forgotten; plant Spirit workings with my dad, card reading techniques with my mother, jokes, stories….memories from the Shadows.

The Veil is thin. We tap into that unconscious state, where the living and the Dead are the same. This mortal coil cannot hold our Spirits back from our ancestral bloodline. Our family lineages provide us strength and stability in a world of constant change. I know that I too, one day, will be deceased. I hope to be a help to my bloodline, to my family tree. I hope to provide wisdom and a helping hand to my descendants as I am able.

Often, many people won’t have a permanent altar, but will honour their dead on certain days of the year. For me, this day is Dia de los Muertos, (Day of the Dead), usually on November 1st. The night before (Halloween or Samhain), I prepare Mexican dishes that my family enjoyed and set out their portions on a table lit with candles and decorated with fruits and flowers. I ask for their presence, aid and guidance. I leave the food overnight. The next day, (November 1), I remove the food and return it to the Earth Mother.

This food has been ‘eaten’ by the Dead. We are not to eat it or throw it out as this is disrespectful. Laying the food outside allows the creatures of the Earth and the Mother’s own grounding capabilities to safely dissipate the energy of the Dead. I offer prayers and written petitions to them on this day. I keep a consecrated candle lit for all three of them. I feel gratitude, I feel honoured to have known them and I feel blessed that their presence is still in my life.

If you are not quite ready to commit to an permanent ancestral altar, please do take the time to remember your deceased, at least once a month, preferably when the Sister is full. Light a candle, burn some incense, make an offering, say a prayer. Just REMEMBER. Their blood pulses through your veins, their heritage is yours, their aid and assistance yours for the asking. The Veil is thin. We can communicate through it.

“We die with the dying:
See, they depart, and we go with them.
We are born with the dead:
See, they return, and bring us with them”.

T. S. Elliot – Four Quartets

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What are the Dark Arts?

The Dark Arts are certainly not for everyone. In fact, most people shy away from the term, preferring to ignore it, in hopes it will go away.  The dark is scary, unknown, and evil, right? No one who is good has any ‘dark’ traits. If you are nice, you are light and good. If you’re bad, you are dark and evil.  I think, however, that if these same people were being truthful, they would have to admit that even they too, have a ‘dark’ side to their cheery, nice personalities; that ‘naughty boy or girl’ who comes out, say, after a few drinks, or if someone cuts them off in traffic or if they’ve been gossiped about at the office.

The idea of mere ‘duality’ existing in the Universe is utter nonsense, fed to us by monotheistic religions who wish to control, dominate, subdue and persuade. There are, in fact, multiple shades of grey; progressing from the most blinding, eye piercing white to the dankest, most hollow, soul-sucking black. Nothing on the Web (in the created Universe), is ALL good or ALL evil. NOTHING. The christian mythos of an ‘all pure and loving god’ versus an ‘all evil and hateful devil’ is deceitful and a distortion of the truth. If it goes against the grain of monotheistic teachings, it is wrong, baneful and beastly, dark, sinful, unholy, unclean, negative and deserving of punishment and retribution.

The simple truth is the Universe just doesn’t work this way. It never has. No such thing as justice, fairness or morality exists in Nature. That is not how the macrocosm works and thusly, that is not how the microcosm works (as above, so below).

The Web is made of Strands (currents) which fluctuate second by second. The Web has no sympathy. It has no feelings of sorrow or pity. It moves by the dictates of the Mother and the Three Sisters of Fate; She who creates the Strand, She who weaves it and ultimately, She who cuts it. They work indiscriminately, without mindfulness of justice, love, peace, or forgiveness. They care not.  So-called ‘negative’ currents such as death, decay and destruction are as necessary to the running of the Cosmos as life, abundance, and construction. Life is cyclical, “What goes around, comes around”. The only constant is change; “This too, shall pass”.

When something bad happens to you, it is not ‘karmic punishment’. It is not a holy god’s retribution on you for being sinful. It is life. LIFE is happening to you. Illness, want, disease, heartbreak, despair, desire and ultimately death, come to us all. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. The Universe is not fair, just or kind. That is why, as Pagans, we cannot just embrace ONE side of life; we can’t just take the pleasurable things and never experience or acknowledge the painful. We can’t just take the light and never embrace the dark. That goes against the natural order.

For me, the only true Path can be that of acceptance and acknowledgement of dark and light and the myriad shades in between. The Power is always neutral, non-judgmental, and impartial. The goal then, for any Worker of the Old Ways, is achieving one’s own end; using the neutral Power of the Cosmos to attain personal and public goals and to influence outcomes; the Dark Arts.

Left, right, middle hand path, it doesn’t matter. The Web is being shaken by your motives, your intent, your spells, rituals and incantations. Every word you utter, every thought you think, every desire in your heart are co-creators of life, of destruction, of change. We influence the Web by our mind and our actions, and in return, It influences us.

The cost of accessing and using this Power can be great. Many fall to insanity, to ruin, to degradation of self and others. Every act of crafting, every curse or blessing, every petition, rocks the Cosmic Web. The Strands undulate, blowing with every exhale of the Mother. Each Strand; a soul, a current, a hex or a healing, a friend or a foe.

Be wary then, of asking for too little, of asking for too much, or really, of asking for anything at all. There is always a payment due. What the Gods give with one hand, they take away with another. There is always a reaction, a ripple effect, from the Web. Nothing is free. Even for the Dark Arts, this is true.

Panentheism and Animism – Foundations of Primitive Witchcraft Practice- Essay 1

 

Panentheism - of Greek origin meaning “All -in-God” is a belief system which posits that the Divine exists (be it a monotheistic god, polytheistic gods, or an eternal cosmic animating force), and interpenetrates every part of nature, timelessly extending beyond it. Panentheism is differentiated from pantheism, which holds that the divine is not a distinct being or beings but is synonymous with the universe.

Simply put, in pantheism, the divine is the whole; however, in panentheism, the whole is in the Divine. [1].

Animism - Latin origin (anima) meaning “soul or life” refers to the belief that non-human entities are spiritual beings, or at least embody some kind of life-principle and awareness.

Animism encompasses the beliefs that there is no separation between the spiritual and physical (or material) world, and Souls or Spirits exist, not only in humans, but also in all other animals, plants, rocks, geographic features such as mountains and rivers, and other entities of the natural environment.[2].

Before I begin, I want to stress to readers that the following essays are MY experience, MY beliefs and the way I was taught.  I know and understand that many other paths and traditions exist and I try to honour those as best I can. I cannot expound on them or offer suggestions. THIS is my way, THIS is my tradition.  Feel free to disagree. I do hope, however, that before you quickly turn aside,  you take a tiny bit of this philosophy with you, to ponder and ruminate, for it is Ancient, one of the oldest philosophies and religious persuasions known to man.  Let us honour it, and be aware of it, before the corroding sands of time and the so-called ‘progression’ of civilization destroys it forever.

As a panentheist and animist, it is my belief the Divine dwells in individual form  throughout all of Creation.  As parts of the Whole, each created being is a Strand, a thread, a cord,  which composes the Universal  or Cosmic Web. My Strand intersects with you, here, on this blog as yours intersects with mine. Animals are Strands, rocks are Strands, plants are Strands. Grass, birds, insects, clouds and stars are Strands. Every day and in millions of ways, Strands connect or disconnect from other Strands.  The Web is Eternal, created and maintained by the Mother. Even the Gods reside on the Web and cannot over rule it. It is the Universe, it is the World, it is the Cosmic Song.

With this worldview, I see  the Universe as holy, sacred and honourable. I venerate Gaia, I pay homage to Creation and Life. I bow in reverence before the sea, before trees, rivers, flowers, stars and standing stones. They are alive. They pulsate with an energy undetectable and unnoticed by most.

This visionary and intuitive understanding of the Cosmos is what sets shamanistic occult paths apart from many others.  This belief system has been held worldwide in many cultures; in the Pre-European Americas, South America, Central America, southeast Asia and Africa. This is the philosophy of Spinoza and Einstein.  We panenthesists are in good company.

I hope in these series of essays to expound on some particulars of panentheism and animism and how to incorporate this wisdom into daily practice. It is my hope to always honour the Old Ways and to try to educate and encourage a deeper understanding of the Web and the Spirits that surround us and share this sphere with us.

I offer my Strand , my life, to She Who Has No Name.  May She abide in my continued adoration.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panentheism

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animism